Time management

I'm not sure if having two kids makes me better at time management or not.  I constantly ask myself if what I am doing at any given time is really what I should be doing.  It matters not though, I still need more hours in a day then I have.  Specifically child free hours.  Wouldn't it be great if we could make evenings like 3 hours longer with out giving up any sleep?

Has it Really Been Two Months

Apparently it has :)  I have negleted my blog and for that dear readers I do aplogise.  I have read other peoples blogs latley and wistfully thought "man I wish I had time to post"  For those of you who are interested I will try and catch you up. 

Sam has something called Charge Syndrome, look it up if you like I'll wait...Its a recoginsed pattern of birth defects and its pretty rare.  We have spent the last 2 months hanging out in various sections of Mott's Hospital trying to find out which birth defects our Sammy does or does not have.  The great news is he doesn't seem to have the really scary/ life threatening aspects of Charge.  The bad news is he is deaf/blind.  No, he is not deaf and he is not blind but he has vision impairment and hearing impairment.  Also very rare, actually only about 60 kids in Michigan with combined sensory loss like that. 


The good news is, there is a lot of support out there for people with kids that have specific issues.  I hate the word special needs.  All kids are special and have needs.  We go to a play group once a week and meet with other mom's with special needs kids.  You know what I learned?  Mom's with special needs kids are just like me and you and well every one else.  They often have "normal" kids at home.  They like going to Mott's Hospital about as much as the OBGYN and they are pretty honest when asked how things are going.  One of the first times I went to Mott's with Sam I met a mom who had a son with Cerebral Palsy and I thought man she is tough, I wonder if she wears a cape.   Now that we know we also have some extra hurdles to over come I keep waiting for my cape to show up in the mail.  It hasn't yet.

Some of the other blogs I read are all about so and so and their life with such and such illness/disease and or condition.  Not going to happen here.  My plan and hope for both my boys is for them to do their best what ever their best might be.  Having or not having Charge isn't all I want our lives to be about so it's not going to be what the blog is about. 

Max is doing pretty well, his speech is improving but still not where I wish it was.  Its beyond frustrating not being able to communicate with your son.  He loved being Mickey Mouse for Halloween and he loved trick or treating.  He is the best older brother we could have asked for and sometimes when we go to a doctors appt and learn something else Sam is going to have to deal with and I'm a little down, Max runs up to Sam kisses him and says "Sam's Home!"  And I am reminded, to Max he is his little brother and he is perfect.  

That is about all we have been up to in the last couple months.  I'll try and post more often I promise. 

Oh Crap!

Or maybe I should call it potty training 101.  I have been looking forward to this time for will about a year.  I have had potty chairs scattered around the house and M and M's all around.  I had cute underware with characters that Max liked but what I didn't have was a kid who cared about going potty in the potty. 

I had on occasion tried to potty train Max.  Putting him on the potty every so often and then getting frustrated when he would sit on the potty and then pee while he was washing his hands.  Then I got pregnant and I couldn't deal with that sort of mess on the floor, made me want to vomit.  So the training waited.

So last Sunday on my way out of church another mom asked me what was going on and I said my son was naked at home and I wanted to go home and get the potty report, she laughed and said that's what they were doing too.  I got home to find the kid in a diaper and a dad that had given up on the idea for the day.  Fine.

Last Monday though I got serious!  The second his little diapered butt hit the last step to the living room I removed the diaper brought the potty chair in the living room and told him if he wanted to watch his Mickey Mouse video he needed to try and potty first.  Sat down and peed the first try.  Yeah for you.  Diaper again during nap, take it off and then had to go tend to Sam.  Came down stairs and he had peed in the potty all by himself with out having to be reminded, I was so proud and so was he.

So fast forward to Sunday and we are doing pretty well.  He pees and poops in the potty  pretty regularly.  However, I still mostly let him be naked only because we are at such an early stage I'm afraid he would sit down on the potty with his under ware on and piddle.

Apparently this task is multi step process.  We were at the I have to pee and there is the potty what a coincidence.  Now we are at the I have to pee where is the potty stage.  We still have to get through the pull your pants down to potty, potty before you leave and finally potty standing up.

Why did I share all this?  Because I could never find any positive info on this subject online.  All I found was "help I have a 4 year old who won't train" or "help my kid won't poop on the potty"  Never a site that gave info what worked for them.  So I hope this helps someone.
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Busy week

One week ago today I had the bright idea of taking both the boys to the doctor because they both needed shots and I thought I would save myself a trip.  They started with Max, I told them about his issues with peanuts and they gave me a epi pen.  Max dropped a chair on his toe and was a wreck for the next 30 mins.  meanwhile the doctor is looking at Sam with great concern.  I told her about how he had been to the eye doctor and how he has Optic Nerve Coloboma, a hole between the eye and optic nerve that may dissrupt how much info the brain receives,.  She continued to look over Sam all the while Max is in a heap on the floor cause his toe hurts.  Long story short she refers us to a geneticist and neurologist for Sam and an allergist for Max.  You see Optic Nerve Coloboma is associated with a rare genetic disease called CHARGE syndrome and the doctor thought Sammy might have it.  So I am trying to digest this info and the nurse comes in to show me how to use an epi pen and to give the boys their shots.  Fun for all involved let me tell you.

Phone rings that afternoon and its neurology wanting us to come in in the morning.  So we pack a bag in case its a long visit to the hospital and arrive at 9:30am at Mott hospital.  After a full day of echo cardiograms, kidney ultra sounds and blood work not to mention our initial neuro visit I and Sam were spent.  But the good news is Sam's kidney's and heart are normal.  Both organ systems can be affected by this syndrome.  

Now we wait for our MRI at the end of the month and further appts in early 2012 with genetics and optomology.  Their is so much we don't know at this time.  We don't know how well he can see, if he will have any developmental delay or anything else.  I do know that after the initial shock wore off I realized that I love my sweet little Sammy and all this other "stuff" wasn't going to affect that.  He has the nicest smile.

Even though so much of what went on this week has been scary I feel blessed, blessed that this should not effect his life expectancy and blessed that we got to go home from the hospital on Thursday because many of the kids we saw that day have to stay because they are so sick.

Not a creature was stirring...

The whole family is asleep at far as I can tell, even the cats.  I haven't had time to write in such a long time with the addition of Sammy.  Every time I read my friends blogs I think I should really post to mine but then I look at the clock and think "to heck with that I'm going to bed!"  But now the family, better known by the neighbors as the "Man Farm" is asleep so perhaps I do have time.



Max turns 3 in just a few weeks which will come in handy when I want to holler at him to stop acting like he is a 2 year old  cause now when I do it well it just sounds stupid, but on the other hand its a reminder to me that he is only 2.  We are going with a Mickey Mouse themed party this year since that is his latest interest.  Max is making good progress on the language front.  He is starting to use sentences a little more.  Although I notice he the sentences he does use are ones he has heard from me.  Such as "it's dark in here"  "the dog is out".  I don't know if the speech therapy has been helpful for him or not but he enjoys it and its free.  He is in full parrot mode which mean if you are driving and some one cuts you off and you yell "thanks jerk" he will too.

Sammy just turned 3 months old last week.  He is doing well also.  He has found his hands and loves to look at them.  He can also smile and laugh which is so cool.  Much more fun when you can interact with them.  We do have an apt to have his vision checked because he doesn't seem to focus on any one object, his eyes do a left right left right motion most all the time as if he is scanning the environment.  I am hopeful that this will be something that is correctable or at least not intrusive to his life. 

We had the kids pictures taken last weekend.  I think we got some pretty good pictures.

Breast Feeding 101

So we have been breastfeeding for 7 weeks now and I can honestly say it isn't as big of a deal as I thought it was.  My first son was really really bad at breast feeding.  He couldn't latch on or would do it wrong and I didn't know how to teach him and we both ended up pissed off.  I got out the breast pump and used that thing for 9 months. 

When my second son was born I was determined we were going to get this right.  He latched on right after delivery and the nurses were all impressed.  I was thinking yeah well my other kid the same thing and we ended up attatched to the breast pump and I'm not doing that again.  So the whole time we were in the hospital Sam and I worked on breast feeding not that I had anything else to do but that's what we did.  Sam had some issues but nothing major, I think visitors were ammused at my little pep talks to Sammy as he tried to latch, "Come on now, this isn't new, get your hands out of the way." 

Once we got home we still had some minor issues mostly just getting him to find the nipple and not his hands.  The important thing I realized was that this was never supposed to hurt.  With Max it hurt all the time every time and it made me dread feeding him.  I know I could have gone to a lactation consultant but I had already given up in my mind, and it freaking hurt anyway.  With Sam nothing hurt really, I could feel it but I can also sleep through it so its not bad at all.

I had been told give it two weeks and you can breast feed anywhere.  Well, I think for us it was more like a month.  When Sam was at the OB with me when he was first born I was all embarrassed that I had to breast feed in the waiting room.  As if I was the only one had ever breast fed there.  We had to go to the OB again today and I had no trouble feeding him in the waiting room.  The modesty fades with time I think.  Although when we were first feeding I was all about using the nursing shaw, now its like if you don't wanna see it don't look at it but Sammy needs to eat. 

Their were a few things I had been told in the past that either arn't true or Sammy never read the book on the subject.  Things like nipple confusion where they can get confused between the breast a bottle and a pacifier.  Sam knew early on, if you suck on it and it fills you up keep sucking, if it doesn't spit it out.  Also he takes the breast and a bottle, also something not every baby can do I guess.  He on the other hand will drink from anything and not only that but I his mom, the one with the boobies, can give him the bottle. 

Happy Mothers Day!

Actually its the day before Mothers Day but who's counting?  I became mother of tow six weeks ago yesterday.  On the last two Mother's Days I have been a little less likely to celebrate for my self but this year I decided I at least want something semi special like my favorite dessert.  German chocolate cake it is then.  I like having two kids, it makes me laugh at all my friends who have one baby and are over whelmed.  The even funnier part is I was over whelmed with one kid also.  Now I look at Sam and Max and think man it was easy when I only had one baby.  If it is the case that you grow more efficient with each additional child just imagine how efficient Michelle is of the Duggar family.

Sammy

Posted all about our new baby....Realized I didn't include a single picture. 

 My son Max seems to really enjoy his brother.

My first thought when I saw him was "he looks like a naked mole rat!"  Now I have a degree in Zoology and I say it with love. 

 Going home outfit.  If Sam look big to you its because he is.  8lbs 11oz.

 Max being attentive

Sam with is dad

Welcome Sam Bowers!

On Friday March 25th we had our second son Samuel Wayne Bowers.  He weighed 8lb 11oz and was 20 inches long.  When we went to the hospital to have our scheduled c-section my doctor had not informed the hospital of the date and time so when we arrived at 8am on Friday nobody knew why we were there.  The really nice thing was that even though we "didn't have an appointment" since the operating room wasn't booked they allowed us to be fit into the schedule and 4 hours later we had our son.

The OB nurses are really very nice and I know they have a hard job to do.  Pregnant women can be very very cranky.  However, this buisness of having my and Sam's vitals checked in the middle of the night is kinda lame.  If they must do that can they at least do us both at the same time?  I was so tired after spending 2 nights at the hospital I asked to go home early.  The best part about the hospital stay though is that you don't have to cook.  When you get hungry you just have to call a phone number and they bring you food.  I guess when you are staying in a room that costs thousands of dollars a day the least they can do is feed you. 

I can't help but continually compare and contrast Sam and Max in my mind.  The way they both have very long fingers and were born with a full head of black hair.  That Sam figured out breast feeding right away and after a week of trying to latch on with Max we gave up an pumped for 9 monthes.  I assume this is normal. 

I also can't believe how much harder it was to have one baby than two.  With our first it was like all we could do to keep up with what he needed and the house was always a mess.  I feel so much for efficient with the 2 kids.  Today we took care of the baby, did our taxes, the dishes, and vacuumed the floor.

Nothing is ever perfect, if it was we wouldn't need sarcasm

I was reading CNN today, a habit I should probably break, and I saw an article about not being perfect parents and it really spoke to me.  The article was all about how people on Facebook and other venues brag about how well their child sleeps through the night, or the perfect vacation they just went on, or how Sophie just got into the perfect preschool that will surly get her into Harvard when she grows up.  Thing is to one degree or another we all have friends who do this. 

Now I love to hear about my friends kids and how they are doing but some days what I really need is an honest mom who says "my kid just kicked the cat for the last time, I am shipping them both to China to cool off".  Be honest, its great to show off your new babies pictures but its also comforting for the rest of us to hear "and fyi that cute little outfit she is wearing only lasted 15 mins before she simultaneously puked and pooped in it".  And we all think "yeah, been there done that"  to ourselves.  It is because of this that I have posted less on Facebook and a bit more on my blog.

Besides, how interesting would it be to post "Lord give me strength not to strangle, scream, or swear."  And how many people would reply "now Heather, that's not nice"  or "now Heather, he's only 2"  Then I'd be even more annoyed.

So for now just a brief look into how our day has been.  Had to drop off the car again to be repaired, had to also take Max.  Max is mad because he gets in the car seat at home, gets out at home.  Max is mad because dad then goes to work.  Max is mad because I want him to finish his breakfest from this morning and he wants something from the pantry .  Max is also tired.  There fore Max has a 25 min screaming fit for any of the above reasons.  While he is having this fit he is also trying to hand me toys which is cute yet even more confusing to me.  I started to eat the eggs he didn't want to eat and well that was a bad plan too.  All I can think is in 10 days i'm going to be out numbered and even more tired. Insert previous comment about the Lord giving me strength here..  

It's not perfect, some times not pretty, but its what we here like to call a Tuesday.  Perhaps later we will get out the finger paint.

Language Delay

For the past 2 years we have been waiting for Max to talk.  He started small with words like Mom, Dad, Hey, baby and for a long time we were okay with that.  We didn't know a lot of other kids exactly his age so we didn't think to much of him only saying a few words.  We have friends with girls right around his age that could talk circles around him but I had been told by several people that girls talk sooner then boys.  Well time keep ticking by and I kept waiting for Max to start really talking.  His friends can sing, say the alphabet and tell you how their day went and Max still had trouble saying truck.  When I took him to his pediatrician for his 2 year check up and the doctor said he had a 4-6 month language delay but that he should out grow it.  Well the problem with this is that as he continued to maybe learn a few new words a week his peers are not only learning up to 6 words a day but also can answer much more complex questions simply because they had been talking and using more words for a longer time.  So after much thought on my part and my husbands we decided to seek some help for our son.  After many phone calls we found a program called Early On which is a program for any sort of developmental delay be it speech, motor, or other wise.  So far I can't say enough positive about the program.  They have been very prompt in all that they have done, not made me wait 6 weeks for an appointment or anything.  We had our evaluation which is was free as is most of their services and it was an in home eval so that the kid can be comfortable and act as he normally would.  Max had a complete evaluation meaning not only did they test his speech but also gross and fine motor skills as well as social skills.  I am happy to say that he did well with his social and motor skills.  His language at this point is that of a 2 year old.  They actually have a really interesting system in which for every major skill they have a task and depending on what they do they get a score which correlates to an age.  One thing that I noticed in watching him answer questions is that if for instance he saw a picture of a wet dog he would say "uh oh"  but when asked what to dry the dog with he couldn't come up with towel, or when there was a child in a car but he couldn't say car when asked what the child was ridding in.  They call this skill expressive language .  I have to admit I found the whole process fascinating.  Now we are on our way to some speech therapy.  A lady is going to come to our home twice a month and teach us how to teach Max to talk.  Lets pray it works for him.  The only regret I have is that I didn't do this sooner. 

January fun

Max got to go sledding for the first time at a friends house.  He liked it okay till he tipped the sled over and did a face plant right into the snow.  Then I couldn't get him to get back into the sled.  He did enjoy pulling the sled around behind him though. 

Its Friday so that means only 9 weeks to go till my c-section.  I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore.  I am really interested to see how Max will handle being a big brother.  They say to keep the older sibling involved in the babies care and Max  is very helpful by nature so hopefully things will go okay.  We got Max a baby brother doll for Christmas and for some reason when we dance to the radio he gets his doll and hands it too me to dance with.  He also likes to strip the doll naked which is something he wont be allowed to do with Sam.

Confessions of a pregnant woman

My maternity clothes from my first pregnancy don't fit.  Here I thought I was being all frugal by saving my clothes from my first kid and the darn things don't fit.  To add insult to injury I was getting ready for a wedding and realized right before we had to leave that my dress pants were not gonna work.  I had to wear jeans to a very nice wedding.  And yes, I was the only one wearing jeans.

I was reading an article years ago about how something like 40% of women 30 and over have some sort of bladder issue, incontinence its called.  I was thinking that's weird I don't ever have that problem.  Then I got pregnant with Max.  I sneezed while at work and was like holy crap why didn't anybody tell me about that preggie symptom?  From then on I sneezed with my legs crossed but it wasn't too bad.  Now with my second its a whole new game, and that game is called "How many time can I sneeze a day without peeing"  Its a one person competition and you get bonus points for crossing your legs and covering your mouth at the same time.

When it was just my self, and I was sick it was no big deal.  Lay in bed, call in to work, eat soup and crackers all day.  When Max came along that changed a bid. but if it was only him that was sick it isn't  so bad, I play doctor mom and we catch up on some T.V.  When we are both sick though , there is no laying in bed, if I want crackers I have to share them and I can't call in sick because I don't know who to call into.  There isn't like a stay at home mom hotline for when you are sick or anything.   Its even more fun now that I'm pregnant again.  I want to sleep, Max coughs himself awake at 4 am and we try not to kill each other for the rest of the day.